Computers used to be human and a she. World music is my favourite part of the day, especially when I hear the cookie monster song. I went to the fabric store and guess what I found? The same watermelon fabric I used in middle school when I tried to sew. It was like seeing my past resurrect before me. I'm learning to improvise! Nothing makes me happier than waking up and reading letters. I could model for Uniqlo. George Harrison and friends, the Concert for Bangladesh! Streaming daylight inspired an idea into a website. We are cities. The cities inspire us. Made of steel, concrete and glass, we are immovable, an urban landscape and a fragile reflection of our own dreams.
Nothing is happenstance. Or so that's what I believe and I have nothing left to lose. After tonight, I was inspired to design this ad, in the hopes of attracting more students. I have little experience with posters and typography so I was quite pleased with the end result.
The words came out of me. Circulatory system. This was my first train of thought. This was my response to thinking of a metaphoric image conveying the qualities of a runner. I thought of how the circulatory system needs to keep running in a cycle. A runner must keep on moving in order to finish a race and the circulatory system lives within a runner. Silence. In a room full of art, computer science and game design majors, I was outnumbered. Once I said those words out loud, I came to a realization that I have become everything I study and do. It's as if science breathes right through me, along with the atoms, water molecules and life I am made of. I asked myself. Who am I? Sometimes I can't believe the words that seem to spill out of me. Only a scientist would have thought of such response. Yet here I am, allowing myself to become a part of the world I observe and live in. While I'm attempting to think more like a biologist, I'm also still dwelling on whether this really is the path I want to take. I have my fears, but I also have this certain reassurance that wherever I may go, I will find myself in this world. Analogous to the circulatory system, there are many pathways. The road less traveled on becomes less of a question and more of a risk worth taking.
I have several wanderlists (see here). Quite often, I don't realize I've been to places or done things I've wanted to do until I go back and revisit my wanderlist. One ambition I fulfilled is 'overcome snorkeling fears and explore the Great Barrier Reef'. After last summer, I fell in love with the ocean. I scuba dived in the Great Barrier Reef and never knew I would do such great things. Thereafter, I wanted to snorkel as much as I could and I wanted to take scuba diving lessons (now adding to my wanderlist). Traveling to Cairns opened up the oceans of possibilities for me, a desire to explore vast oceans. Less than twenty-four hours ago, I was in Paris at La Défense, in the midst of early Monday morning traffic. People were rushing from one end to another, some stopped by the Pomme de Pain boulangerie, click-clack heels echoing, stores beginning to open and I was sad to leave. All of the sudden, I had this train of thought enter my mind. I thought about the word 'wanderlust'. What does wanderlust mean? A desire to travel the world. There I was immersed in the discourse of a French pool. In all honesty, I occasionally curse the tower of Babel, but this time instead I loved every moment of hearing français being spoken. It's been two years and more since I dived deep in French. I still remember a lot and I miss taking French from Madame Collmar. I want to go back and study French. Traveling brings about such desires, such as jumping into oceans and learning French. I dream of being there again, a school of fish swimming around me and sitting in a cafe eating crêpes, macarons, flan and paninis. There is a desire to travel, but also a desire that comes with traveling. After all, what is the purpose of traveling if there are no desires after the traveling process? What is the word after wanderlust? Or am I describing a feeling for which there are no words? I'll keep searching. For now, I am boundlessly grateful for the opportunities to travel and this wonderful world I live in.
Charles Dumont and Michel Vaucaire should have titled "Non, je ne regrette rien" with an exclamation mark! These words still harbour in my mind. I have no regrets. I have none whatsoever as I've made a few revolutions and changes for the better within this last week. I fought, I battled and I stood for what I believe. I'm not sure if I'm victorious yet, but I have learned a few lessons in life. Years on, I'll be laughing about this experience I'm going through, but now injustice is a reality I'm currently facing. I thought of John Butler's lyrics, "running through the fire, running through the flame, running through the hopelessness and shame, revolution already underway." This is a powerful message of being the change and turning the tides. I can't say I have won. But I can say I have conquered. I have conquered some of my fears and now my feet are weary from trodden uncharted mountains. All that I'm doing for myself and for others is a tale to tell. All of this feels right. I feel as though I'm doing the right thing. All of this is worth it and non, je ne regrette rien! Stand up for yourself. Believe in yourself. Believe in the seemingly impossible. You might never know until you try. Carpe diem. Have no regrets.
Maybe it's because I've had this fascination with J interning for Pixar. Or facebook and Mark Zuckerberg. Sometimes I can't believe the things I say and do. I have made a decision. I am minoring in computer science.
Pictures are souvenirs of lost time, memories remembered and forgotten; an archived documentation of a long history with many stories to tell.
Lately, our family has been looking through old photographs. Polaroids, black and white, faded ink and photos in a format I've never seen before. With vintage back in style, vintage only seemed like a fairytale or a classic ad until I saw these photographs. Those were the times, the good old days and the simple life my family lived. I've seen 1979 and even more further back in the past. In the photographs, my mom looks like one of the Carpenters, Yoko Ono with John Lennon, one of The Breakfast Club, Grease and The 70's Show. She's a dancer and a rockstar, a diva singer and plays the guitar far cooler than I ever will. In all of the photographs, I wish I had her clothes and sense of fashion, minus the crochet pants my grandmother handmade with love. One thing's for sure, my mom is rad and pretty.
I have decided I am going to be the architect of my own life. I am going to the places my heart leads me to and my feet will carry me there, whole in soul and spirit wherever these places may be.
2011, a new year and a new of everything. As much as I would like to step into the future or live in the present, these two couldn't exist without reliving the past. I'm still trying to comprehend time, the universe and simply what everything means. I have learned much within the last year and writing resolutions for this year didn't feel right to me. Resolutions sound final, the resolution of a discord into concord at the final note, the end. I wanted to write revolutions instead. Revolutions I'll be thinking of and working towards this year and many years on. There is no end.
Here are some of my revolutions...
be more self-less and willing to help others more
spend more time creating art and playing music
surround myself with family and friends more
explore and discover the world by getting out
learn new things through classes and self-teaching